This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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