Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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