Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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