508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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