Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
