His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
