glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If I die, sorry about rent.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
