AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize