I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
