I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize