he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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