He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
