so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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