Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
NoShamevember. You game?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
