I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
