I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
