I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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