I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
