Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize