I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
