Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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