I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
