Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
