Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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