I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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