My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
