And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
