Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
