Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
