I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
