Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
