i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
