Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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