You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
