Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize