I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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