I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Come on in and take your pants off
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