would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
