yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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