Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
