Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
