fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm at about main and main street
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
