They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
