I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
