Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
