Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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