Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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