just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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