I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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