matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you inspire me to be a worse person
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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