And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
