had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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