I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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