Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
