yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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