I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
