How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize