It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
