Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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