Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
