i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
