i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
