what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
