I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize