I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
