What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Randomize
