if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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