there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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