in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
