Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
