I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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