Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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